Friday, August 15, 2014

Diggin' up Bones

The KITP told me a story about my Dad when he was working.  It is a cute one and some of my friends who are archeologists or aspiring dirt diggers might get a kick out of it.

When my Dad was alive he worked for LaBarge Brothers which was an oil and gas pipeline construction company in the Syracuse area.  In other words he dug big ditches.  Some jobs would get pretty interesting especially if they were digging near historical areas, which is what happened in this particular case.

One day while they were digging in Syracuse, the archeological experts who were on the ground were watching, the guys decided to have some fun.   It was lunch time.  While my Dad’s crew ate lunch the archeological experts combed over old blueprints and such.  My Dad said, “Watch this!”  He then threw some chicken bones in the hole they were digging and covered them with dirt.

The next day they began digging where they threw the bones.  My Dad looked down and said, “Holy shit!”  He called the experts over and showed them the scattered bones.  Well the experts cordoned off the area and set up a grid around where the bones were and began sifting.  Meanwhile the construction guys were told to stop digging immediately.  It was all they could do to not laugh.

After about an hour of sifting and analyzing and such, the experts said, “You can continue digging.  These bones are fowl.”  My Dad and his crew laughed and one of the crew said, “Hey, Red, I see they found my chicken bones!” 

This is just one of the many fun stories of the construction site.  Stay tuned for the red light district job hunt story!

Until the next time…..Keep on diggin’!


Monday, July 21, 2014

This is the Con that Doesn’t End…..sing it with me!

Well, another Con has passed and yes, I had the time of my life.  Kind of sounds like a song, doesn’t it!  It is, if you look at it.  There is plenty of music that can be related to the Con.  All happy stuff too because attending the GCLS makes me feel so good!  I get my “fix” which is supposed to last for a year, but rarely does.

I flew this time with Con Duck, Lil Dutch and we picked up DC on a layover.   I arrived a day before the festivities began.  There were others already gathering.  There were familiar faces as well as new ones.  Let the annual hug fest begin.  What is great about the Con is it is like the last one never ended.  It is as if we just drove to a new place and met up again. 

The fun part of everyday started with breakfast.  We had a large group at our breakfast table. A large, loud, laughing group.  No topic was off limits.  I think we shocked our poor server.  She had this shell shocked look on her face, daily. The staff gave her a reprieve after the first day and other servers came.  There was one faithful one.  He was a nice young man who had more femininity than all the women at the Con combined!


The days were filled with master classes, panels, author chats, readings, greetings and signings.  It was impossible to attend all of them.  Dang it!  I really wanted to.  I split my time between all.  I can’t say which one I like best because they all were great.  Each one had a special perk to it.  Being assaulted by tennis balls was one!  The bedazzle conversation during lunch break was an eye-opening conversation! 

The night time was filled with dinners, fun, partying and yes, hugs and laughter.  All nights usually started in the lobby with interesting chatter.  One night included reviewing lessons from a very interesting book! Being a non-drinker has its’ perks.  Like telling really drunk straight women, “I am allowed in the girl’s room” and “No, I do not show my vagina to drunk straight girls.”  True story.  I was not offended, I thought it was hilarious.

Karaoke was a hit! It was hippie night.  The tie-dye attire, peace signs and free love were all part of the program.  As per a tradition I started for myself last year, I danced with my very dear friend, Sheri.  She is a great dancer.  Then, it was on.  Dancing all night, but only to the fast ones!  I closed the bar with a few others!  Fun stuff.  I think I threw a hip!

Awards night is always my favorite.  It is time to play dress up.  The ladies who wore dresses and fancy suits looked stunning.  The ladies who wore suits and other attire looked handsome.  Me, I rocked a tux!  I showed the picture to my Mom, aka The Kick in the Pants, and she said, “Wow, you can clean up good.  You actually look like a grown up!”  Congratulations to all the awardees and also to the nominees in the different genres.  What comes after the awards?  Dancing, of course! 


I danced to all but one song.  Half way through I stripped off the cummerbund.  A little while later the jacket came off.  By the end of the evening the tie was off too.  I was hoping for a few dollar bills, but realized all these women spent their money on books. Sigh.  The evening ended with me once again closing the bar.  Joe, the security dude, and I helped the DJ pack up her stuff.

The last morning was full of hugs, laughs, helping each other with bags and reliving the Con all over again.  The coolest thing is, I posted a picture of myself and Katherine V. Forrest.  Well, a guy, an author, who I graduated high school with responded and said he edited books with her before.  I mentioned it to her while toting her bags to the airport van and she remembered him.  Such connections we have.  Amazing.  Ok, back on task. 

This brings me to the conclusion of my blog, but not to the conclusion of the Con.  Like the title of my blog reads or sings (I hope you get an earworm), “This is the Con that doesn’t end, it just goes on and on my friend!”, we will all stay connected until next year and will keep talking about our adventures. 
*NOTE* All of my Con Pictures are on my Facebook page...Go take a peek!

Until next time …….Dutch

Sunday, June 22, 2014

The Road to the Con 2014

The road to the Con this year is taking a different turn.  I have to fly this time.  By myself even. Am I scared, hell no!  I love me some airports.  They are the best place to people watch besides the mall!  I plan on taking it all in and taking copious notes in the process!

The plan for this year’s Con started even before the end of the last one.  I stepped one foot into the hotel in Dallas and was hooked!  People knew me before I was even there.  I have Facebook to thank for that (Cough).  I post quite regularly and keep up with the latest happenings of most of the authors and readers.  I had built long lasting friendships before arriving at the Con.  Now I was actually there!

The ladies who belong to the Golden Crown Literary Society (GCLS) are one of a kind.  First time Con attendees or Con Virgins will be welcomed with open arms into a society that is better than any I have ever belonged to before.  That was the first time I had been a vir….Oh boy, I am getting off track.  I am supposed to be talking about my “road to the Con.”  I guess that Facebook quiz was right, I have ADHD.  I get sidetracked rather quickly…squirrel!!!

Ok, back on track!  Towards the end of the last Con they said we could pre-register for Portland!  Holy crap, really?  I was on that like flies on…you know!  I registered on my smart phone!  That was the “smart” way to do it.  Now all I had to do was finish retiring, save money, wait for the hotel stuff and get a plane ticket.  That was the easy part, well kind of!

Plane tickets to fly across country aren’t cheap.  You almost need a second job to buy one.  Come hell or high water I was making it to Portland.  I set my travel websites to alert me weekly to the fares.  Finally it dropped to a manageable dollar amount and I clicked buy!  Next thing on the agenda is to pack.

Some of you may know a friend of mine who packs like 5 months early for an upcoming vacation.  I am not at all that organized.  If I did that I would forget everything.  I imagine I will be packing my suitcase right up until the time my mother comes to get me to drive me to the airport.  My motto is, if I forgot it either I don’t need it or the town I am going to has a store.  Look out!  I do need to come up with some sort of “hippie” attire for karaoke night.  I also have no clue what I am wearing awards night.  I have 15 days to figure it out!

The morning airport ride will be fun.  We will be getting up at the butt ass-crack of dawn.  My flight is the first one out of Syracuse.  My mother, more commonly known as The Kick in the Pants, says, “I am not coming into the airport.  You are a big girl now, so I am dropping you at the curb.”  Wow, I am chopped liver now.  She will be jetting off to meet the Coffee Bar Babes at Wegmans right after.

I hope to see all of you at the Con!  If you have never been, you must go, if not this year then next year.  It is an experience that you will never forget.  I may even drive to the one next year.  I love road trips.  Last year’s road trip was epically hilarious.  I have pictures to prove it!

Look out Portland, The Dutch is coming!  Watch out Washington-Dulles and Dallas-Fort Worth…..I am flying through, unsupervised!