Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Not So Frilly Dutch Goes to a Frilly Smelly Thing Chick Party

A few weeks ago I was invited to a party.  I normally jump at the chance to get out of the house, but I was a bit apprehensive this time.  I don’t usually go to these home sale parties.  I looked at my Facebook and clicked the “maybe” icon.  The party was a Scentsy ( party.  I had heard of them and maybe you all have too.  I thought, OMG, it is a frilly, smelly thing party.  EEK!!!

If anyone knows me by any interaction, you would know that my frilliness left during my school years.  Middle/High school that is.  I mean, I have worn dresses a couple of times since high school, under protest of course.  I have worn the requisite bridesmaid dresses.  You know the ones, the ones you will never wear again.  One in particular had a big huge bow on the butt!  I mean, who in their right mind would wear that again!  I wore a dress to a company Christmas party and then one to a New Year’s Eve party in Holland.  Then, of course, I wore one when I got married to the tool-box, my ex-husband blog to follow someday).  That is the extent of the frilly.  Now, the only dress I own is my uniform.  It is a clothing bag issue item for Army females.  Oh, and I have pumps. The things with heels!!!  They are the required one inch.  No higher or I might break my ankle because I have no idea how to walk in them!  That is the extent of the frilly me.  On to the Scentsy party.

The day before the party I decided to go, so I clicked the “going” icon on Facebook.  Like I said, I had heard of Scentsy before.  Hell, all the Army wives (not the show) talk about it around here.  They have to have something to talk about since we live in the middle of nowhere.  I sent the host a message and said I would be there with bells on!  She was excited and I am not about to let a friend down.  Besides, I hadn’t seen her, her husband or kids in a while.  I convinced myself that this would be fun!

The day of the party I came up with a funny name for it.  I called it “a smelly thingy to smelly up the house chick party gab fest.”  It is almost like a Tupperware party, but not.  I used humor to psych myself up.  No, really, I can have fun almost anywhere except a male strip club!  I would have fun there too if I had plenty of adult beverage liquid encouragement! Then, I would just laugh.

I was expecting a female consultant at the party, all other parties I have been to like this have had females.  I was wrong…it was a dude.  Well, I thought, times are a changin’.  He began to give his bio..married, retired from the Army (like we couldn’t tell because of the high and tight haircut), family, yadda, yadda.  He was very soft spoken.  I was like wow.  He looked like this burly dude, but practically whispered when he talked.  Kind of like he was trying to feminize his demeanor.  He was definitely in touch with his “feminine” side because he explained the scents and products with a soft, feminine air! I know all of this is stereotyping, but geez, he didn’t look like he should be selling the smelly girly stuff. 

There was one part of his bio that I had a hard time getting past.  He retired to stay here.  Don’t get me wrong, the place is nice enough, but I would like to shop somewhere other than Wal-Mart.  He talked of a higher power keeping him and his family here.  Strong magnet.  He kept going on and on trying to convince us.  I tried to stay attentive, but I sat near the snack table and the pineapple was more interesting.

All in all it was a fun party.  I stepped out of my “comfort” zone.  I left the party $75.00 poorer.  The good news is my house will now smell like a fresh baked cookie.  I just hope I don’t gain any weight from smelling it.  I couldn’t bear the thought of bringing home a frilly smelling scent.  The frilly smelly chick party was a success! 
2010 On assignment in Utah (NOT FRILLY)

1988 Bridesmaid (FRILLY Yuck)

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Getting Lei’d and Doing the Hula

While in Hawaii, where do you take a woman who can’t dance?  Why to a luau of course!  They give free lessons on how to move your hips and more.  The one thing they don’t let you do is the ring of fire dance.  I wonder why?  Here is my story.  It’s all real, really!

When I returned from my tour in Iraq I took my then family to Hawaii on vacation.  One of the event’s not to be missed was the luau.  We signed up for the one recommended by the group we booked the vacation through.  Time to get ready.  How much time should it take, shirt, shorts, flip-flops and go!  Nope, not when you travel with “the girly girls,” they take forever!

The girls, minus the boys and me, wore those Hawaiian print wrap thingies that look like a sundress thing, but can be used for other things.  The technical name for it is….I don’t have a clue, ask a girl!  Women should know what I am talking about.  They also put a flower in their hair.  The boys and I were much more casual in our Hawaiian print shirt and shorts with flip-flops.  Ahhh, comfort.  You would never catch me in one of those thingies I was talking about.  All in all, we all looked frikken awesome!

It was time to head off for the luau adventure.  The one chosen is a very popular one on Oahu.  It is Germaine’s Luau.  Some of y’all may have heard of it.  The bus ride to Germaine’s was a trip.  The guide got us all pumped up for the evening.  I really perked up when she said we would get lei’d.

When we arrived, there were “alohas” all around and we got “lei’d”!  It was the second time I had gotten “lei’d” since we arrive in Hawaii!  That’s the most “lei’ing” than in the past……well that’s a story for another time!  In my mind I was thinking I need to move to Hawaii, you get “lei’d” all the time!  Wow, what a place!

Ok, I am done being sidetracked, back to the luau.  They did a traditional bury the pig roast ceremony.  That was pretty cool.  We ate traditional luau food and now it was time to dance it all off.  Mind you, the Longboard Beer was flowing very well through my veins at this point!  Time to hula!

The show began with a bunch of hula dancers.  Wow, wow, wow.  They could really move the grass skirt.   They guys did ok too.  The cultural heritage behind each dance was explained and the moves were explained.  That made the dances all that more beautiful.  After all of that it was audience participation time!

My daughter and I volunteered.  There were a few of us on stage.  We were freshly lei’d again (dang I love this place).  The basic moves were swaying your hips to the left and swaying your hips to the right.  Too easy, right?  Nope, I don’t sway!!  It is more than just the hips; you use your whole body.  Here we were a bunch of freshly lei’d, no rhythm women trying to hula.  I imagine if I had a grass skirt and a coconut bra I would have done better!  At least we could have gotten a good laugh.  So the whole dance was like a wiggle to the left and a wiggle to the right and move your arms in a flowing motion.  Holy Macarena that was hard!  Better yet, the boy got it on video!!!!!  I have hid the blackmail video though.  It is only for private viewing.

All in all it was a blast and the evening culminated with the “Ring of Fire” dance which was absolutely amazing.

The moral of the story, if you want to get lei’d a lot and like it, go to Hawaii.  If you want to learn to hula, buy a hula-hoop and practice before you go to a luau.  Always participate though because if you don’t you will miss out on an experience of a lifetime!!!!!
Hang Loose!! (note: Flower in hair!!)
Katrina (Daughter) wearing her thing with her Man!!  Lovely
The Hula Girl and I !!!! I need a coconut bra and grass skirt!
(note: person on left intentionally cropped out!!!)
Stay tuned for another adventure with Mama Bear Travels!!!!