She's With Me----Well, Not Really "With" Me

Time frame:  July 1995

Place: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas

Event: Melissa Etheridge-Yes I Am Concert

Persons involved: Me (married at the time to a man, on paper)

                                Peachie (my very straight sister)

My sister came to visit me in Texas while I was stationed there.  I really wanted to see the Melissa Etheridge concert.  Tickets were only $75.00 a piece, so we decided to go for it.  This was going to be fun.  My sister has no idea what she is getting into.

On concert day, we parked the truck (so stereotypical) and started to walk to the arena.  We decided that we were kind of hungry, so we stopped in what was supposed to be a pub.  Well, we were wrong.  It was a fancy restaurant.  Here is the thing, I am kind of crazy and when you add my sister into the mix we become downright Looney.  Well, they had these fancy napkins on the table.  We dissected each one to see how it was folded.  We asked the waiter to give us a class and he did.  By the time we were done we reassembled six swans!  How cool is that.  He earned a big tip for that one.  Now I will be able to “wow” everyone at dinner parties with my swan making abilities! (I couldn’t do that now if you paid me)

When we got to the arena it was packed. Oh My God, I have never seen so many lesbians in one place before.  I took one look at my sister and she was standing there with her mouth open and the “OMG” look on her face!  Priceless!  Peachie said, “Are all these people lesbians?”  Holy crap, I busted up laughing! There weren’t very many males there.  The only ones we saw were gay.  I think my sister was one of the only straight people there, besides the ticket takers.

We stood in line at a concession stand so I could buy a hat.  There was a gay couple behind us.  They kept talking to Peachie about her and me.  Finally she said, “We are sisters.” They laughed and said how cute.  She said, “No, we are really sisters, like biological sisters. Like we have the same mother.”  OMG, they busted laughing.  It took quite a bit of convincing that we were really sisters and that we were not "sisters."  Priceless.

Later on in the same line, some women started talking to my sister.  I watched for a while because I like watching my sister squirm.  Peachie kept looking at me with the “help” look and I just shrugged my shoulders laughing the whole time.  I thought it was funny that someone was putting the moves on my sister.  I finally decided to rescue her silly butt.  I turned around and said, “She’s with me.”  The women said cool and walked off.  My sister wanted to knock the crap out of me.  She still does to this day.  Poor, poor Peachie. 

The concert itself was awesome.  Our seats were pretty good.  We had second level, front row near a railing.  That meant not too much drinking, if you know what I mean.  Well, during one of the songs Melissa’s guitar player started doing a solo and she walked off the stage.   The next thing I knew, she was right in front of us. Like 5-10 feet! OMG!!!  You know what I about did, without having to type it here.  That part alone was well worth watching my sister squirm.

So, if you want to have a fun evening with your clueless, straight sister, take her to a concert where the majority of the attendees are lesbians.  You will have an unforgettable evening of laughs as you watch her with her mouth wide open in shock and while you watch her squirm.  It will be a memorable one, mine was!